From ESPN — A new professional league for elite swimmers will launch in October with meets in seven cities across the U.S. and Europe, ending with a championship in a temporary pool in Las Vegas.

The International Swimming League announced its schedule Tuesday.

The season begins Oct. 4-5 in Indianapolis, followed by meets Oct. 12-13 in Naples, Italy; Oct. 18-19 in Lewisville, Texas, outside Dallas; Oct. 26-27 in Budapest; Nov. 15-16 in College Park, Maryland; and Nov. 23-24 in London at the site of the 2012 Olympic swimming competition.

The championship will be Dec. 19-20 at Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino’s 12,000-seat arena in Las Vegas.

The ISL says it has signed more than 200 of the world’s elite swimmers, including Americans Katie Ledecky, Nathan Adrian, Simone Manuel and Ryan Murphy.

FINA, the sport’s international governing body, is running its own Champions Swim Series of invitation-only meets in Guangzhou, Budapest and Indianapolis this spring. Total prize money is $3.9 million.


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I’m glad in the year 2019, swimmers finally have their chance to not just “play” a “sport” in college, but – if they’re reallyyyyyy good – they now will get to go on and do it professionally for millions thousands hundreds of people to watch!

Picture this: it’s a nice October weekend, you just picked up your cockapoo from the groomer, kick off your new balances with a light green stain from mowing the lawn earlier, you flip on CBS ESPN2 [INSERT WHATEVER CHANNEL WILL CONSIDER AIRING SWIMMING] and you got two ELITE swimmers like Daiya Seto and Max Litchfield (ever heard of them?) absolutely just GOING AT IT in the 400 IM!!

OMG – imagine the intensity!!

Nothing will make that Zima Nancy just brought you taste better than a good swim ol’ fashioned race!!

Imagine they both open with a sub-50 100 fly’s? OMG – wouldn’t that be a treat?!


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No one wants this. NO ONE.

Literally the only reasons a person finds themselves in the stands for a swim meet are the following:

  • Their family member/VERY close friend is swimming, or
  • Someone is holding a loaded gun to their heads.

**checks note**¬†Nope, that’s it!!!

Swim meets are slow as shit, the venues are humid (for those who are attending live), the scoring is confusing, the commentary surrounding them is GOD AWFUL, the scoreboard is rarely if ever displayed… It’s just… UGH. What a dumb idea!!

But, I gotta hand it to them, shout-out to all the swimmer nerds out there though who wished this into existence!! I mean this from the bottom of my heart, you truly deserved*this*!!

Swimming was meant to be a college “sport” to help white kids “do athletics” and earn an “athletic¬†scholarship” (and I guess it was also meant to be an Olympic sport)…

It was NOT meant to be anything more than that. Do not force more swimming on the world than necessary – we have enough nerds.





P.S. Before someone comes at me, I can say all this because I used to be a swimmer, so these are firsthand feelings… But if you wanna still go toe-to-toe and defend this gay sport, tweet me your 200 breast time. I fucking dare you.


* = By “deserved this” I mean, they deserve the misery they are creating for themselves by watching a swim meet every weekend involving people they don’t know.