I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – fuck saving the bees.
GOOD NEWS: The enemy knows I hate them.
BAD NEWS: They’re targeting me for it.
The past two Saturday’s, I have attempted to mow the lawn at the WCS HQ. Both times, before I was able to finish, a fucking bee stung me.
The first time I got stung, it didn’t swell too bad, but here I am today, two days later with a right
ankle cankle that would compete with some of the thicc-est suckers you’ve ever seen at your local WalMart. It’s brutal*.
No joke, it’s like I developed one of those diabetic ankles overnight (minus the gross red coloring where it looks like your skin is just a red-ish balloon ready to pop… now there’s a solid visual for everyone this Monday afternoon!).
The thing is, I killed the original hive where I got stung the first Saturday, and a week later – ON THE COMPLETE OTHER SIDE OF THE HOUSE – I got stung again. So it’s not like I just didn’t solve the problem, and I’m just a moron and got hit again in the same place by the same hive. I solved one problem and another arose in one weeks’ time.
So who’s to blame?
That’s right – mother fuckin’ CHEERIOS!!
These honey nut dickheads put on a grandiose #BringBackTheBees campaign back in like 2015 and now I can’t get rid of these bees quick enough.
They claim on their site that last year alone, they have planted 1.7 BILLION seeds of pollinator plants…
First off, REAL dick move to everyone who struggles with allergies.
But second, what about the 5% of the population that’s allergic to bees (myself included… nbd)??
You looking to kill us, Cheerios?!
It’s a dick move and it’s a short-sighted move… Besides, the bees were probably coming back anyway! We gotta just let nature do its thing and go with it, no more meddling (I’m looking at you Global Warming Truthers)!
It’s time to start the movement to open people’s eyes to the fact that we’ve gone too far. We can’t have bees around just stinging the shit out of everyone (namely – me).
#KillTheBees – let’s get it trending!!
* = DM for pics 😉