The weekend is really a lawless town. Anything goes. People and things let their hair down and come out to play during the weekend. During the week there can be some chaos, sure, but for the most part, it’s structured. That’s why I decided to do Weekend Power Rankings where I rank the top five performers from the previous weekend. With that said, let’s hop into the inaugural Weekend Power Rankings.
5. Ramon Laureano, Oakland Athletics: 8/13, 3 Doubles, HR, 1.859 OPS
Laureano has been known for having an absolute cannon for an arm, but the defensive specialist has been a pretty hot at the plate lately. In three games against the first place Twins, Laureano had 8 hits (more than any other player in baseball this weekend). Not bad for a “defensive specialist,” amiright?
4. Henry Varona, Pokemon Go Community Day: Caught 189 Mudkips in 3 Hours and 13 were Shiny
Apparently today or this weekend or something Pokemon Go, the game that was big for a few days like six years ago that my friends still play religiously had a Community Day. Nice right? It’s super nice to see Pokemon Go give back to people in need. In fact, it almost makes me download the app and play a little bit because of how generous the kind people at Pokemon Go were being. Wait, what’s that? “Community Day” isn’t about giving back to people in need? It’s about a three hour period where you should “use your lucky egg” and collect all the “Mudkips” you can? Well apparently that’s what it was. And Henry Varona aka @aWhiteCuban on Twitter left it all on the battlefield today as he caught 189 Mudkips and 13 of those were shiny! (whatever the hell that means)
Also I did the maffs and that means 63 an hour which is more than 1 a minute and then a shiny every 15 minutes. Nuts
— ⚡️ Henry Varona ⚡️ (@awhiteCuban) July 21, 2019
Hey catching over one Mudkip or whatever per minute is impressive (I think) so I’m glad Henry Varona is now laying down after his incredible performance.
3. Queer Eye, Netflix: Season 4 Premiered July 19th, 1 Billion People Have Already Watched All 8 Episodes
Queer Eye’s newest season just came out on Friday and on a weekend where the entire nation was trapped inside because of the 100 degree heat, it has been
not confirmed that over 1 BILLION people binge watched season four of Queer Eye in its entirety. Hey, hands up, I watched a few episodes the last two mornings. I remember the old Queer Eye when the guys were actually Crab People
And then when the reboot came, they took a little bit more of a “let’s hit them in the feels” angle with the new cast. I always wondered though, does having over one billion people binge your episodes help or hurt you? Because now there’s just nothing for another year? With that, maybe Queer Eye was a controversial pick, but it was good enough for third on our list.
2. Oliver Drake, Tampa Bay Rays: Threw a Pitch That Defied Logic and Went Viral
— MyBookie Sportsbook (@betmybookie) July 21, 2019
Yeah this pitch just doesn’t make sense. It was posted every where and now on this site. That pitch has like 4 feet of run on it. I’m sure his straight-over-the-top release plays into it looking so ridiculous, but that’s all part of pitching, baby. Regardless of that, the pitch starts at Leury Garcia’s front knee and then ends up 12 inches off the plate on the other side. I don’t know what fucking pitch that was, some kind of a hybrid changeup screwball thing I guess, but that’s the pitch that every Japanese pitcher that comes to the MLB is rumored to have. Unreal.
1. Mother Nature, Heat: Kept it 100 Degrees And Above Everywhere
It was really fucking hot this weekend. Not only that, but it was really fucking humid here in the Northeast. I personally didn’t mind it too much, but boy everywhere I went this weekend someone was bitching about the heat. “Oh man this is just AWFUL!” Meanwhile Mother Nature is just laughing her ass off at everyone saying “sweat you sons of bitches!” I’m a firm believer that Mother Nature is a cold, heartless bitch. If she wasn’t, every day in the summer would be 75-82 degrees with zero humidity and the winter would be about 35 degrees with limited snow. I don’t hate that she’s a bitch though. She’s a villain and has embraced that role. You have to respect that.
Honorable Mention: Shane Lowry, Golf: Won The Open by Six Strokes
Good for Shane Lowry. Six strokes is impressive. Usually only takes me two.