— Unnecessary Roughness (@UnnecRoughness) August 26, 2019
And there you have it. If you were looking for any sure fire win in Week 1 of the college football season, you have your answer right there with Texas State +34.5 against Texas A&M. Alexis Texas, Texas State alum and former F.A.M.E winner for Favorite Ass, has not only wished her alma mater good luck against the Aggies, but said she was “sure” they were going to “kick ass.” Screw +34.5, might as well take Texas State straight up! Who cares that they have a 4-28 conference record over the last four seasons. They have a new coach who was the quarterbacks coach AND offensive coordinator for the high flying West Virginia offense! And now, Alexis Texas has their back too. Forget about it.
Those lucky sons of bitches at Texas State. Every January 1st(ish) I write an e-mail to my buddies about what my goals for the year are. And every year, the very last goal is “Meet the woman of my dreams, the beautiful, the bountiful, the busty, Alexis Texas.” I don’t know how or when or why I was sucked into Alexis Texas and her work, but have you ever heard of love at first sight? That’s really the only explanation.
But back to the topic at hand, Texas State Football. This is a turning point in Bobcat football history. Look for them to be the next great mid-major.
^^Probably my favorite picture all time.
PS: I think you have to throw Alexis Texas in the Mount Rushmore of Texas State alums. There’s a lot, but I think she’s right there with former President Lyndon B Johnson, Paul Goldschmidt, and George Strait.