anger

It’s Friday and I’m #back which means that it’s my civic duty to start helping people with their internet problems again! Since I’ve been out of the game for a while, I figured I should ease myself back in with a simple one.

Anger. What an emotion. For someone like me who gets angry at almost anything, I’d say this emotion takes up ~85% of my total emotional use and of that 85%, somewhere around 75% of that is solely dedicated to irrational anger so I feel like I’m pretty much an expert here. And out of all of the questions related to irrational anger, I feel like this one is the easiest. It’s not asking why do people get irrationally angry or what is irrational anger. It’s a simple “how” question and the easiest way for me to answer it would be to provide some techniques followed by some examples. Let’s get started, class.

angry teacher.jpg

Technique One

Since we’re talking first person, you’ll just want to use “I” or “me” a lot and to get the point of anger across, I suggest using all caps and an exclamation point to show that you are yelling.

“I’M SO ANGRY AND EVEN THOUGH THE REASON MAY SEEM NONSENSICAL OR IRRATIONAL TO A NORMAL, WELL-ADJUSTED HUMAN BEING, I AM STILL ANGRY NEVERTHELESS!”

Easy peasy.

Technique Two

Curse. A lot.

“WHY THE FUCK IS NEW YORK STATE CHARGING ME FOR A NEW GODDAMN LICENSE PLATE WHEN THEY WERE THE ONES THAT MADE THESE SHITTY FAULTY ONES THAT PEEL IN THE FIRST PLACE?! I DID NOTHING WRONG TO MAKE THIS FUCKING THING PEEL, ALL I DID WAS DRIVE LIKE A NORMAL PERSON AND NOW THESE ASSHOLES WANT TO CHARGE ME TO GET THE SAME PLATE!”

Wow. That’s a lot of cursing. But you can certainly tell that I’m angry about these fucking morons and the Governor trying to charge me $20 just to keep my license plates that they fucked up.

peeling license plate
Oh yeah, totally my fucking fault. Sure.

Technique Three

Make up random insult name for a person or groups of people.

“THESE FUCKING JABRONIS WON’T EVEN CONSIDER NEGOTIATING RENT WITH ME! THIS DIPSHIT ON THE PHONE TOLD ME THAT CARFAX DOESN’T NEGOTIATE ON PRICE AND SO THEY DON’T NEGOTIATE RENT. HEY DUMBASS: CARFAX DOESN’T NEGOTIATE ON PRICE SO THAT THEY CAN RIP YOU OFF!”

Jabroni. Dipshit. Dumbass. All valid, all wonderful. Feel free to find your own that you feel really drive home the point.

carfax
Fuck you, you sleezy little puppet

And there you have it, irrational anger portrayed in the first person! It is a skill that takes a bit of honing but once you find your groove, you can yell and/or scream at any passerby on the street! Now, excuse me while I go rip my hair out after recounting these very real examples.

@WCS_Junior