I’m not going to lie or even BS about it, I still frequent Barstool all the time.

We started Water Cooler Sports not as a competitor, but more as a hobby-type thing to do every so often and also maybe a resume so that a Barstool-esque site could see our shit and think, “OMG! These guys fuck, we need them on OUR squad!

Anyway, today I was on Barstool, reading the post about Mitt Romney telling the NCAA, “We’re Coming for You.

For starters,, Mitt’s the Tits and his name alone is clickbait that I can’t avoid. But secondly, this “NCAA-needs-to-pay-its-players” thing is a hot topic right now, and I’d just like to get out in front of this one…

I fucking hate it and it’s going to turn out like trash.

Not because it isn’t a good idea – it is… at least some form of it is*. But it just won’t work.

The government already is involved which means they’ll have to look out for EVERYONE’S interests: both men AND women, across ALL sports.

Well, how many NCAA athletes are there?” Glad you asked…


And how much money does the NCAA make?” Jesus, you’re really following this closely reader, good job!

About a billion dollars.

Not that they would share 100% of their revenue – since the NCAA does have to pay for things – but hypothetically, let’s split that billion EQUALLY (across all genders and sports). what does it come out to? A wildly underwhelming $2,173.91 per athlete.

Now, I’m not saying that amount of money is nothing. I mean, shit, I would’ve loved to have gotten an additional $2,173.91 in my account every year back in college! But that’s because I swam (lol) and didn’t get jack shit for it (nor did I deserve to, so I’m fine with that). Anything would’ve been better than nothing for me.

But imagine the football and men’s basketball stars who legitimately deserve 99% of the pie (right? who else is earning as much as those two?)… THEY deserve the money, but as with all things government, there is NO FUCKING CHANCE they allow only a few sports (specifically two male sports) to take 90%+ of the money. They’ll fight for equality, and that equality will end up DESTROYING this idea.

The way I see it is that the people fighting for it are thinking of it only in terms of the real big sports… But think about all the women’s swimming, men’s fencing, gymnastics, crew (though that’s badass) and other programs that are going to demand they get paid too, because, you know #equality matters in 2019!!

Image result for equality gif

I think equality will actually kill this idea, and it’s a shame because, as a capitalist, I do believe people deserve to get paid for what they bring in… But I also very much trust that the government is going to take this idea and ruin it.

Oh, and I’d also like to get ahead of this and say that $2,173.91 will probably get taxed too! So it’s not really $2,173.91, but maybe after Uncle Sam takes 10%, it’s more like $1,956.52!!

Not exactly what everyone is dreaming of as this whole debate roars on!

I think something will happen, but it will be so watered down and shitty and no matter what people will end up upset… But hey, I guess that’s just how the cookie crumbles!






* = The form I’m referring to that would actually work would be legitimate capitalism – pay only the players who actually make colleges money (men’s basketball, football, etc) in proportion to how much they bring in, and let the other sports get nothing.