Last night as I watched the Red Sox get swept by the Yankees, I heard Matt Vasgersian literally cum in his pants at Aaron Judge’s first (of two) home runs.

Now I know what you’re thinking, “Ketch, you’re a Red Sox fan, OF COURSE you hated this home run call!”  Now I will admit that because it was Aaron Judge and Vasgersian blew his load like it was the first time he ever saw a breast for Judge hitting a homer off of a human named “Matt Hall” in game 10ish game of a 60 game season that this bothered me a little more than usual.  However, it’s not the first time I’ve been I’ve been a little confused on how to feel about Vasgersian’s boisterous calls.  Here’s a compilation:

I actually don’t mind Matt Vasgersian.  I know the “cool” thing to do is to hate any major network announcers, but I think he does a pretty decent job and has a big game voice.  Some his calls, like the first one in Game 7 of the World Series, I’m totally good with him going a little nutty for, but you know what they say; if you call every home run big, then there are no big home runs.  But that’s not all with Matty V, the voice of MLB The Show, the other thing that throws me off is the “SANTA MARIA!” call.  I don’t get it.  He’s Armenian.  “Santa Maria,” or “Saint Maria” in Armenian would be “Surb Miriam.”  So where does the “Santa Maria” come from?  That’s the part that makes me, for lack of a better term, cringe.  I don’t know why, but it just does.

For a great home run call, look no further than one of my favorites of all time.  No, not a Red Sox homer, but Bartolo Colon’s first career homer:

And if Vasgersian’s aggressive ejaculation wasn’t your cup of tea, there’s always Dennis Eckersley with a subtle yet satisfying nut.

Good to be back.