This is what you call “versatility.”  You get a post about the newest extension on Instagram earlier, and now we’re going to talk shop about a bunch of cavemen and cavewomen banging a bunch of rocks together and making language.

I recently came across this article a few days ago and it’s a pretty interesting idea.  It was the idea that what were essentially Neanderthals developed the first language because they were making tools.  But first let’s back up.  It’s commonly thought that Tamil and Sanskrit were the first languages, and I guess among humans, that’s probably true.  But where did it come from?  How did it even develop?

The short answer is who the hell knows.  But this guy named Neill Boviard who is a flintknapper in Western Massachusetts has a theory that language developed from tool making.  He basically says that the nomadic people in the Stone Age would pass down the ways to make to make tools such as spears, and knives and other shit like that.  Well sure they would show their kin how to make the tools, but eventually they developed a language to give them verbal instructions on how to make the tools.  It’s a theory that in my opinion makes a ton of sense.

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Here’s how I think it went down:  It was probably a dad making spears and hammers and shit with his son and his son was doing it wrong.  The dad kept grunting and showing him how to correctly.  Every time the dad showed him and looked away to gut the wooly mammoth he just killed, the son kept reverting back and doing it wrong.  The dad again grunted, with a little more emphases this time showing that he was getting annoyed by his son’s ineptitude yet didn’t lose his cool while he again demonstrated the proper way to bang the rocks together.  After the dad watched the son do it the right way, he went back to working on the wooly mammoth.  Then he looked back again and saw his son again doing it wrong and just couldn’t take it anymore and let loose saying “what the fuck is wrong with you?  I’ve showed you ten times how to bang rocks together to make sharp tool and you keep doing it wrong you little shit!” And thus, language was born.

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What? That’s not what happened to you when you tried to help your dad when you were a kid?  Oh yeah, me either.